Here and only here.

I feel like I child in the middle of a horrible custody battle. Colorado is my estranged father that was never around but I love so much and Pennsylvania is the mother that has raised me and taken care of me.

Ha! I sound crazy but stick with me.

I've left my mother who was always there for me to stay with a dad, that is wonderful but was never a father.

Pretty much what I'm trying to say is that I feel like I left part of my heart in Pennsylvania when I ran away to pursue my future and find my happiness in Colorado.

I love it here so much, I really do please don't get me wrong, if I could do it all over again I still would have gotten on that plane on May 29th and been right here. I just feel like the only way that I can truly be happy is that I just have to be here....

I feel like I'm still living mostly in Pennsylvania, my heart, my soul, my mind, I go back there so often during the day and that needs to stop. I'm so focused at work and I throw myself into my duties so that my mind can be preoccupied but as soon as I get home, I go back to Pennsylvania.

I have to be present....I have to be here. For right now my life isn't in Pennsylvania anymore, it's here. I need to be here.

I told myself today "no more sadness," I can't let unimportant things or people make me sad anymore, I'm living the dream. I literally have the job of my dreams, I'm 22 and I have the job of my dreams, it's unreal. I'm so happy, and I just need to be present and allow myself to be happy here.

That intro was so dramatic lol especially coming from a person who has never come close to being a part of a custody battle. My parents have been married for 31 years and they're really happy together.

Anyway, for anyone who's wondering how I'm doing here, in this new town, I'm doing great and I genuinely love it here. I look forward to going into work everyday, which isn't something that I ever thought I'd feel, but hey, I guess I got lucky.

"Let's just work on being present, she tells herself as she wipes away the tears and put away the pictures from home."

Be present.