footprints

I was walking to my class the other day, and there was a hint of snow on the ground. I was feeling like a little kid trying to stomp as hard as possible to see if I would leave foot prints in the ground. The idea of a path behind me portraying exactly where I had stepped was intriguing and exciting to me. I turned around with a glance full of expectancy waiting to see my footprints, and saw nothing. It caught me off guard because I saw faint traces of footprints around me but my own were non existent. It left me thinking, if I were to die today what footprints would I leave behind in this world. Or most important what footprints would I leave behind in the lives of all the people that I've encountered in my life. All the people that I spent years with or even moments, would they remember more than just my face. I want to leave behind my laugh, I want people to remember how I made them laugh, I hope to leave behind my positivity and thirst for life. I hope people remember how I pushed them to be the best that they could be at everything. I hope people remember my heart for God and how though I fell many times I always yearned and ran back to him. I hope people remember more than my face, instead I wish for them to remember the footprints I left and the impact my life had on the people around me.

Virginity

Sometimes when I'm bored I like to look up quotes about love. Sometimes I write them down in my inspiration book or I write them on post it notes and post them around my dorm. Today my search for love quotes sparked my curiosity and I started looking up quotes about virginity and I must say I'm extremely disappointed.

I'm saddened by the fact that so many people in the world make a joke out of something that I've protected for 20years and hold so dearly to my heart. I don't know if people realize that whenever you have sex with someone, you become attached to them forever. Sex is a much deeper spiritual connection than most realize. To me my virginity has always been something that no matter what I would wait and give it to a special person.

In my case I believe that the only person who is special enough to take my virginity is my husband on my wedding night. I've never condemned people who have had sex before marriage and I never will, but continually people bombard me with questions about my decision. They ask me how I fight temptation and how I've made it this long and honestly I know that without God I never would have been able to do it.

Also people try to convince me that sex really isn't that serious and it's the best thing in the world so I have to try it, but I really don't. It's a priceless gift to be a virgin, and it's a gift that once you give it away you can't take it back. I want my gift to be special and preserved for my husband and I'm 100% ok with waiting. It feels really good to hear about celebrities and people who are also saving themselves for marriage like Tim Tebow, and the Jonas brothers. I always think to myself, now if celebrities can resist the temptations, and not have sex, than you can too. I can do it and with Gods help I will.

Beautiful and so true

"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two."

For some reason...this means so much to me

"You ever look at a picture of yourself, and see a stranger in the background? It makes you wonder how many strangers have pictures of you. How many moments of other peoples loves have we been in. Were we apart of someones life when their dream cam true, or were we there when their dream died. Did we keep trying to get in? As if we were somehow destined to be there, or did the shot take us by surprise? Just think, you could be apart of someone else's life and not even know it."

This quotation was taking from an episode of One Tree Hill, and I liked it because it's so true. I think that every one interacts with so many strangers throughout the day, that we forget how we affect the lives of people we don't know. I think of the 6 degrees of separation thing and how many times I've said wow what a small world.

It's crazy to think that everything I do in the life that I sometimes call meaningless effects so many people in such a big way. Someone out there probably thinks they're a loser when I think that they're the coolest person in the Universe. Expounding on that idea I think that it's so important for people to always say how they feel. Who knows who's day you might make by telling them they're pretty or by calling your parents and telling them you appreciate everything they do for you. Hearts are often broke by words left unspoken,

I heard that somewhere but I'm not sure where exactly it's 100% true nonetheless. There is a stranger in this world who unknowingly has changed my life, and I hope that in some way the stranger that I am, helped change someone else's life. I hope that I've paid forward every single act of kindness that was bestowed upon me. Look at me being all eloquent tonight =] time for bed.

Loving you

So I have this problem with letting go and saying goodbye. I hate saying bye to people because who knows when I'll ever see them again it makes me sad and usually I get really upset. My friends and family are honestly my life and what sucks is that I know my future is going to take me places that doesn't allow me to see them every day.

I just got done talking to my friend Ido that lives in Isreal, I met him over the summer and got to hang out with him for four days and I never forgot him. He is one of the most genuine people that I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. He was so amazed by the little things to me like Walmart and Target and places like that. He would talk about how skittles are the most delicious things he'd ever tasted and it always made me laugh.

It's funny how you can spend a few days with someone and they can affect your life in such a big way. I always thought that I would never see Ido again and now there's this chance that I'll see him this summer, he told me the good news and then he had to get off the internet, and it was so weird. I got this huge sense of happiness and then it was automatically followed by so much sadness that I just started crying. When people leave I'm like a child in a way that it always feel permanent.

I'm insecure in the way that when people genuinely care for me I try to keep them close to me because I don't know when someone else will ever care for me the way they do. I'm not sure if it's a bad thing or not that I hold these people so close to me. I guess in every case, an excessive amount of something is just not healthy for anyone, is it crazy that I wish I could overdose on the presence of my family and friends everyday.

Life

So I really haven't gotten a chance to just sit down and right for a really long time because my laptop was broken, but now that it's fixed I feel like I have so much to say. My life has changed more than I thought it ever could in the last few weeks. I grew up in church, I went every week with my parents and I swore that I was a Christian but honestly I wasn't a real Christian until about two weeks ago when I gave God complete control over my life. I've always lived my life in a way that no matter what I always do what I wanna do. I made a decision when I was younger that I wasn't going to have sex until I was married, but honestly I didn't make that decision because of God I made it because that's something that I wanted to do, and I almost didn't keep that promise to myself. But recently I decided that I'm going to do everything for God and not for myself. I'm going to wait till I'm married to have sex because that's what God want's me to do, I'm not going to kiss on random guys and pass myself all around because saving myself and respecting myself is pleasing to the lord. I'm not going to keep using awful language and get drunk and act a fool all the time because I am a representation of the Lord and I need to hold up a standard. My mindset has changed to the point where everything that I do, I do it as if I was doing it for the Lord. I try to give every situation and task at hand my best because now I acknowledge the fact that the Lord is observing my service. I thank God for changing me and slowly working on me and being patient with me. I definitely don't do all the things that I'm supposed to do and I definitely haven't made all the best decisions in life but God is still faithful and has never left my side. I pray that God minister in the lives of all the people that I played games with instead of being a real Christian and witnessing to them. I hope that God helps me to change the lives of all the guys that I used to make me feel better about myself, and the guys that I didn't give the time of day because I thought I was too good for them. I want God to bring humility in my life, I need to learn to humble myself so that I can continue to grow for the Lord and change from the person that I am into the person that he wants me to be. I love the lord more now than I ever have...I hope he uses the testimony that I've acquired over the years to help change someones life and bring people to Christ. I'm no better than anyone in this world, and if God can save me then he can save you too.

Walking in excellence

Don't worry

Cause when the oppurtunity comes

I'll be ready

"When preparation meets oppurtunity"

A New Years Resolution

I know that I haven't written in a while it's mosty because Sir Lancelot is still broken, so I can't really write to much today. I just wanted to say what my none new years resolution is, this is more of a rest of my life resolution. I am no longer going to be afraid of the devil, I will not let the the fear of things lurking in the dark keep me from living my life to the fullest.

I will grow closer to God this year, I will cut back people who hinder me from growing to my full potential in the Lord. I'm going to go to another lever and I wil achieve all of my goals, and I thank God for finally letting me become the person that I've always wanted to be. Thank you God for this weekend and making me better and helping me to grow closer to you. Give me the strength to confess the things that I need to, to my parents and I just desire to give you control of my life.