Rory Alverson

I'd rather have sticks and stones and broken bones then the words you say to me. Cause I know bruises can heal and cuts will seal..but your words beat the life from me.

--Truth

In your atmosphere

Anyone who knows me at all knows that I love John Mayer. I love his music, I love his style, I love the way he talks, I just pretty much love everything about the guy.

But I was just sitting here listening to one of my favorite songs by him it's called "In your atmosphere," and I was trying to evaluate why I like him so much. And I just said to my doll Natalie, I said "You know why I love John Mayer so much, it's because he just gets it."

And that's kind of the best way I can describe it, I feel like he just gets life. He gets what it's like to hurt and to love and to make mistake, after mistake, after mistake. He gets that and he writes and sings about it, so then everyone else not only can see that he gets it, but they can try and get it too.

It's so weird but, I don't know, there's something about that guy that I just can't get enough of, his music always seems to touch my heart. I'm really looking forward to seeing him in concert again one day.

xoxox Nik.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q7FP5R2EOwc&feature=fvst

Love is corny.

"You can be the peanut butter to my jelly
you can be the butterflies I feel in my belly
You can be the captain and I can be your first mate
You can be the chills I feel on our first date

You can be the hero and I can be your sidekick
You can be the tear that I cry if we ever split
You can be the rain from the cloud when it's stormin
Or you can be the sun when it's shining in the mornin

You can be the prince and I can be the princess
You can be the sweet tooth and I can be the dentist
You can be the shoes and I'll be the lace
You can be the heart that I spill on the pages

You can be the vodka and I can be the chaser
You can be the pencil and I can be the paper
You can be as cold as the winter weather
But I don't care as long as we're together."

Touch

For every action there's a reaction. Something is always the result of something. Someone pays for everything, and if we don't pay for our own actions then someone else will.

I've discovered that I'm at the place in my life where I stare at myself in the eyes everyday. I touch my own face and look at my own hands and feet and say to myself is this the person you want to be. And every day the answer is the same.

Perfect is not something that I would like to be. Instead I just want to be myself, I want to be the person that I'm supposed to be. Judgmental is not something that I would like to be either, instead I'm just trying to limit the types of people that I spend my time around.

When I wake up and I look in the mirror I've found that I've started really paying extra attention to my eyes. Looking into the depths of them and asking myself do I recognize the person staring back at me. The answer is always the same.

My answer, is always almost. Is the person in the mirror the person that you want to be, almost. Do you recognize the person in the mirror, almost. I've noticed that when it gets harder for me to make certain decisions, that how I know that I'm doing what I know is right.

When I'm the one saying no in a sea of "yes" then that's when I can raise my head high and be sure that I'm doing what I know is right. I'm a work in progress. I'm sorry to that I've had to push out of my life recently, but this work in progress needs a lot more simplicity in her life.

I needed to cut back all of the things that were adding unnecessary drama into my life and I think I'm close to being drama free. But I digress, I know that this time it's for real.

I'm going to give myself time to become a better person. I believe that soon when I look in the mirror I'll recognize the person I see and when I ask myself those questions again, my answer won't be maybe, but instead YES!

Xoxox Nik.

Two years

Two years ago, I was not as wise as I am now. Two years ago, I was naive to the world, and the way that things and people can hurt you. Two years ago I trusted easy and loved easier. Two years ago, I was different, I'm a completely different person then I was two years ago. I was happier two years ago because I was still caught up, lost, in the innocence that I thought the world had to offer me.

Now I'm aware that life is hard, and that you have to work for everything that you want. Now I appreciate things more because I realize how easily people can come in and out of your life. Now I see that people don't always have your best interest at heart, and that you should watch who you trust.

Two years ago, I thought that my parents could give me anything at the drop of a hat. Now, I know what it's like to struggle and I realize that my parents, are only human and I shouldn't expect to much from them.

Now I still look at the world with eyes of optimism and a brain filled with hopes and dreams. I still believe that I can be anything that I set my mind too, and I believe that if I work hard enough that I will be successful one day. Two years ago, I thought that my future would just fall into my lap.

Two years ago I thought that the first guy that I ever met and started talking too, would be the man that I would marry. Two years ago I was wrong. Now I realize that men can be flaky, and I should uphold my standard and not fall for a guy that's not worth my time.

Two years ago, I was young and naive and silly. Now I'm young, and still silly, but more aware of what's in the world, and how I need to protect myself but most importantly my heart.

Wrote this two years ago.

When did you know you loved me?
I asked not sure of what reply I would receive
but earnest to know what actions
turned his like into love and his fancy into adoration
When did I know he asked?
From the first day I saw you I think
actually I know, that's definitely when I knew
From the first day?
But we were at a picnic and me and you barely spoke
I said doubting every word he was saying
No that may be the first time you saw me
But I saw you a year before
You were in store in a rush I assumed
Hair in a pony tail
stray strands falling in your face
you had glasses on
Green if I remember clearly
And when they began to fall down your face
You pushed them up carefully with your middle finger
You had on a save the earth T-shirt
with blue jeans and chucks
You know the pink ones I love so much
At one point you looked my way
And I thought I was gonna faint because
For a minute I didn't breathe
But you must of looked through me cause
I never caught your eye
As you walked past me I noticed a small scar on your forehead
and a wall around your heart
I thought man that girl would make any guy happy
But I doubt she'll ever trust a man
Her heart is scarred and burned
I can tell by the way she stands
She could have any one she wants
But the last things she's looking for is a man
I fell in love with your pain
and the idea that I could make it go away
I know exactly when I knew a loved you
It was the moment I knew that I would be the only man
To make you love me back
And even though it was a year and a half later
When we had our first date
If you would of asked me when I dropped you off
If I loved you then
I wouldn't of hesitated to answer cause I already knew
I've loved you from the first day I saw you
And every day since

Happiness

Happiness
a nine letter word
A word that is so easy to say but yet means so much
True Happiness what is that about
Is true happiness driving nice cars and wearing expensive clothes
Living in a big house....with a lot of empty rooms
Is happiness crying to yourself at night
Sad that your alone
No true happiness is harder to explain then these things
It's when you can look in the mirror
and finally accept what you see
It's when you can step on a scale
and are not disgusted by the numbers that appear
True happiness
is walking down the street with your head held high
Not afraid of what others people will think
True happiness is the sense of reassurance you feel
knowing that God is always watching over you
True happiness is in the eyes of a young couple in love
A young child playing at a park
and a preacher preaching a word of redemption
True happiness is in the words highlighted in red in Luke
and the stories explained so well in Genesis
True happiness is attained when you realize
That you will never truly be happy without God
That a life without the Saviour of this world
is like a life without air..it's unimaginable
Happiness is found when you can sit in your room and pray
Giving all your cares unto the Lord
and walk away knowing they'll be taken care of
I write about this happiness because
I finally believe I've found it
A deeper relationship with God is what I seek
and knowing that he loves me so much
That he sent his son to die for me
Heals all my hurts
Fills every void
and wipes away every tear
I don't know how I made it without you
Your my best friend
and my father
Your my lover
and my mother
your my shoulder to cry on
and my voice of reason
yes a life without God is definitely like a life without air
and As I take in a deep breath I realize that
Finally I can start to breathe again.

Da' Poet

"She miscarries her purpose and aborts her dreams by overdosing on a man who has never claimed the status of boyfriend."

Truth

"I now compare all guys to you, and you know what? They never measure up. Not even close. And the sad thing is that some of them are probably better than you, but I just can't see it."

My biggest fear =[

"The worst feeling is being forgotten by someone that you will never forget."

Honestly

Words fall like rain, and evaporate just as quickly...so I won't believe what you say until you show me that it's real.

Gnat shoot up your nose.

A real best friend can give you advice that you don't want to hear, but that you need to hear. I love the people that God has put into my life. I'm going to take her advice and wait for the guy that makes me feel the way I did that night, for every day of the rest of my life.