Riddle me this...

And when you look in between the lines you'll fine the cracks were just a part of me

And that every little blemish affects who I want to be

And that all that's left is all that there will ever be and all that's here is all I'm capable of being

You'll find that my face is a canvas and his words were the brush

And these expressions that are left are the masterpieces he painted with his heart shut and his eyes diverted

Like a popsicle sitting in the sun....melting.

You'll find that though I'm sweet the goodness can fade when left unattended

So I'll tend to myself and put the frozen delight in the freezer

So that the person it's meant for can enjoy its goodness and not it's aftermath

I really, really like you

Soo I'll pretend to be someone I'm not so that I can be sad when you don't like the fake me compared to crushed when you leave the real me

Crumbs fall under the table and the cats go wild

For the taste of dinner as it falls from the napkins that wipe the mouths of the undeserving

It's a riddle and the answer is so commonplace that it's always overlooked

Love yourself first and the rest will follow.

I said I was going to write....

And I said....I'm going to write a love song.
But instead I wrote a poem and I cried until it made sense and welled up in my stomach.

I said, today, I'm going to be a vessel
 open and filled with all these secrets
 and instead I was a smile and stored away feelings.

I'm a popcorn kernel, unpopped.

A box of cereal unopened

A strawberry in an empty field....

rain is soothing but tears are abusing

I will never be too good
 but I am good enough and not saying words, leaves feelings and hearts broken.

I find sanctuary in difficulty and I fear the unfamiliarity of this kind of happiness.

I said I was going to write a love song and then I didn't

I knew if I started I just wouldn't finish...and like everything else on this topic, it'd be something that bothered me and left me unfocused.

Fuck you and your games I say to my fickle heart

And I smash it between my own hands instead of letting it get crushed between the hands of another

Tic, tac toe.and I win you lose.......except really we both lose and no one wins

I'll hold my own hand and take care of myself, because that's what people like me do

Sticks and stones don't break my bones and from the looks of things words don't hurt me

I hate you....more than I've ever hated anything in this whole world

But in my mind it's opposite day and hate means every word I should have said but never did

I said I was going to write a love song
 but instead I wrote an obituary

Tumblr Special

I'm jealous of the moon
because she knows all of your 5am secrets

and your sheets who get to touch
every part of you as you fall asleep
while I keep a close eye on this empty pillow
waiting for your weight to keep it warm

but the sun
is the luckiest of all.
when you're half asleep, groggy
and painfully unaware of how
beautiful you look
he kisses your lips with light

-Unknown

Madness

He admired my
melancholy madness
and said it was
graceful
and beautiful.

But it was neither
of those things

I was a hurricane
at the centre
 of a

collapsing,

burning

building;

and I wasn't someone
to be admired at all.

(as seen on Tumblr.)

To my future him...

There will be fireworks and if there's not I'll create them. You should fill me. Fill me to the brim with the light that floods your pores. I'm wide awake, with my heart unzipped and my brain on pause. Who are you? What am I? This is real and in your eyes I die. The part of me that was burned and scarred has become the part of me that's healed and smooth.

I'll breathe you in and make you into everything you're supposed to be. You're the grass and the root of the oldest trees in the whole entire world. At times I think you're infinite and if life allows it, I hope we're laid to rest at the same time so we don't have to live without it.

We're the frame to a painting that has been done since the dawn of time. How neat is it that this has been in the works for centuries? I'll apologize and grow with you and wait until your done talking before I interject and that's a lie because I interrupt to try and connect. We'll mold together like two balls of clay on a potters wheel.

It's like the sun, except when I stare directly at it, instead of it burning me, it consumes me and sucks me into the heat of it's perfection. I'll quote for you the lines that make me weap saying "if people are rain, then I'm drizzle and you're a hurricane," And you say that's impossible because if you're a hurricane than you and I are the same.

I'm one soul, inside this vessel, being invited to this.....this sweet divinity that claims us and calls us to live for something more than ourselves. This is it. The rise without the expected fall. You're it. The one who calls my name and even if I'm not within ear shot my heart answers. Could this be it? Hello.