Country Transition

The last week has been so much easier than I thought it would be. I'm currently in an office in Taiwan filled with Acer computers, next to the orphanage that I'm currently living in with my co workers. I think that it's safe to say that anyone would understand if I was going through some serious culture shock, but I'm not.

Or I guess I shouldn't just say that I'm not, but if I am, than I'm not consciously examining it right now. I won't say that I'm perfect and that I'm not feeling a little bit different than I usually do, but I'm definitely not in my panic or distress zone.

My cousin got married and I missed it and that makes me a little sad. Seeing the pictures online kind of bummed me out because I wasn't there for him but I know that this is where I should be, so I won't complain.

Our first day in Taiwan we stayed at this super cool temple and I felt like I was in a movie and since then, the cast has just been experiencing all of these super cool things. The people here are so nice too, they're so giving and understanding of things and I appreciate their kindness so much.

Whenever I'm in these countries I find myself very conflicted and confused internally. Some of these people live so differently than I live at home and one would almost argue that they're living in borderline poverty, but they're so happy. So unbelievably happy and I wonder if they're doing something right. Have they discovered one of the keys to happiness? Living simplisticly? I'm not sure.....I don't even know if simplisticly is a word but I'm going to continue using it.

I'm happy right now, I really am, but I just don't feel like myself and I'm not really sure why. I feel like there is something that is different inside, something missing again. Ughhh I'm reluctant to use the word missing, missing is such a strong word when used in this context so I use it very lightly. I love my job and if I could be anywhere else I would still choose to be here, but something is off. I'm not sure exactly what yet.

Ahoy mateys, I spot Taiwan ahead!

In about twenty four hours I'll be in a completely different place, literally a whole new world and man am I excited. I'm currently on a bus with half of Cast B'12 headed to NYC to begin the process of checking in and getting ready for our flight.

So I figured I should do a little country transition for myself and write down some of the things that I've learned these past few weeks about myself and just about anything.

Recently I learned that it's okay to be friends and reach out to people who have different personalities than I do. I've been so comfortable in the way that a lot of my friends are very outgoing and friendly and we're a lot a like. But here in uwp life there are so many people that are completely different than me that it would literally be a pity if I didn't branch out and get to know more people even though it's kind of out of my comfort zone.

I think that it's just so easy for me to be able to hang out with people that are like me, but this actually forces me to be more outgoing and adventurous when I talk to people who are different. So that's something that I'm challenging myself to do and I'm hoping that I do a good job at it.

Another thing that I learned is that sometimes when you're trying to learn about other people you end up learning the most about yourself. That's been such a crazy concept to me because by asking questions and starting to dig deep in someone else's personality you see the things that are parallel to your beliefs and it's such a cool experience.

Ughhh now that I actually want to write everything down my brain is blanking on what I've made. I may not be able to recount everything but I definitely feel it, and I know that something is different somewhere and I like it.

I have always been a sucker for life and now I'm just head over heels for what life is bringing me and how God has been allowing me to bless and be blessed by those around me. Ahoy, Taiwan awaits!

I don't need no ring, I don't need anything but you...

"Love is vivid. I never wanted the pale version. Love is full strength. I never wanted the diluted version. I never shied away from love's hugeness but I had no idea that love could be as reliable as the sun. The daily rising of love."

I believe....

"All I have, all I need is the air I would kill to breathe."

I believe in music and the way that it can make you feel.

 I believe in love and the way that whether it's romantic or platonic it can make you feel so wonderful.

I believe in hands and that they're meant to be used to help others up and at times to pull yourself up from the ashes.

I believe in death and how simple and peaceful it is. I believe in the light that it brings into the lives of those that are flooded by it instead of the dread and fear that it is rumoured to bring.

I believe in children and the innocence that lives within them. I believe in their words and the eyes that they use to view the things around them. I believe in their hearts and the way that they beat so strongly for the things around them.

I believe in change and the way that anyone, no matter how big or small they may be, can bring about it.

I believe in people and that there is not one single person in this entire world that was born evil and that deep down everyone has the ability and power to change their present and make a better future for themselves.

I believe in God and the way that he moves through every single aspect of my life. I believe in the way that he cares for me and loves me when I don't always show the world that I love him. The way that he's always in my corner....no matter what. I believe in his presence when I'm feeling the most alone and the way that he can wipe the tears that I never let fall and answer the prayers about goals that I'm not ambitious enough to say out loud.

I believe in my future and how very bright it is.

I believe in my mind and the way that it works for me. I believe in my abilities and the fact that they've gotten me so far in life.

I believe in those around me and the fact that they're always loving and supporting me. I believe in their faith and their unfaltering belief in how far I can go in life and how much I can accomplish.

At the end of the day, among everything else, I believe in me.

Pahsitivitee!

It has been weeks since I've written a blog and I feel a little weird inside because of it. Writing is such an outlet for me and to not have done it for so long has made me feel less like myself. So I apologize to anyone who reads this regularly and has been constantly greeted by the same post.

I came up with this motto this week or idea rather that has really helped me to stay motivated and driven throughout the day. Lately I've been going home completely exhausted and without energy and I've been so just not okay with being that exhausted. So I thought that instead of focusing on the negative I would focus on the positive. When I wake up in the morning my internal cup is filled to the brim with energy, positivity and talent so at the end of the day if I'm completely exhausted and feeling worn out then that is a wonderful thing.

The reason why I think that, is because I feel like if I go to bed dead tired and exhausted then that means that I released all of the energy and positivity that I woke up with into the world that day. If I go to bed full of energy and on a super high then that means that there is something that I had in me that should have been released into the world that day but wasn't.

I'm trying to work on being more positive and thinking of every single thing in my life as something that is a positive thing and not a negative thing. I'm trying to figure out a way that I can do this so that's it's optimistic and not fake in the way that I don't acknowledge bad things that go on in my life or in the world. So I'm searching for the happy medium but for now I just want to be more positive and not really think of the happy medium stuff.

I will try my hardest to write more because when I don't I miss it.

P.S. Pahsitivitee is a word.....maybe not. Positivity.