The time I got away...

I planned to write about you..to put you on a page. But then I realized all my words were nothing compared to you.

You were everything and nothing all at once and I don't know how to explain that.

We developed out of no where and ended just as soon and walking away from you was the only decision I made through the whole thing that was well thought out....well planned.

Being a part of your life was one of the hardest things I've ever done and leaving it was just as difficult.

I wish we could have started out as friends and just stayed there...we would have been such good friends.

But instead we went too fast, people said we'd crash and we screamed at them we wouldn't....but then we did. And the fire burned us up, but our bodies were saved and all that was torched was our hearts.

My intention was to spit you out and leave you here and simply walk away, but just like all our other plans it won't work.

I apologize for the yesterdays and all the days before and even more for the tomorrow's we never got to have.

Our choices, our decisions led to our demise and the dramatics that followed led to nothing being left behind.

In the end all I have are memories and a faint heart shaped scar embedded in my chest.

You were all of it and then none of it and it seemed to happen all at once and way too soon.

We were drowning with our heads up and our eyes wide open, hoping that eventually our feet would hit the bottom of an endless pool.

Always the optimist.

If I could go back in time and repack every word, I'm sure that it would end the same with me laying them out  one at a time carefully to dry.

You told me that I'd always be the one that got away and I never told you that I think of our season as the time I got away.

So I'll say the kind of goodbye that seems temporary and somehow just lasts forever and grab my suitcase of words and walk away.

Behind me is only you.

Behind you is only me.

But ahead of us... the road is paved with untouched concrete and the possibilities of the next one and the right one await us.

Words

I believe in words.

I have a feeling that not many people do anymore. I believe in the power they possess and the way they can change a life.

I believe in the change that comes from the utterance of the words "I can" and the defeat that sets in when a person says "I can't."

I believe in the faith that comes from the words "I believe in you," even when spoken by a stranger and I believe in the belief that consumes your thoughts when you believe those words.

I hold true to the words that speak kind laying softly on my ears hoping that I will one day look away from the ground and up to the sky.

I believe in the words of my mother, that tell me "you're going to have such a beautiful life," and even though they're said through tears I believe that they're happy.

I never forget the words of my father that remind me "no matter where you are, I'm still your dad," that soft reminder echoing loudly in my mind when distance once again becomes an issue.

I believe that your thoughts become your words and that your words eventually become your actions and that those actions can strongly dictate the course of your future.

I believe that the word "love" is overused and underused and I'm still confused about how I can feel so strongly about such conflicting ideas.

I believe in the word LIFE and how when spoken with conviction and faith it can fill dead lungs with air...I believe.

I believe in words and the way they fill pages and turn letters into words and sentences into award winning novels. I believe in words and the way they can calm a child in seconds and ruin a relationship even quicker.

Words, so powerful yet so rarely used to their full potential.