Craziness

I don't think my friends realize how fickle I am, and honestly I didn't even realize it until recently. I change my mind about things so much it's not even funny. Besides my core group of friends, I change the way I feel about people all the time.

I may like you for a while but then I won't and so on, it's so lame I don't know why I can't be consistent. That's a main reason why I've never had a boyfriend because I've never liked some one for a long period of time. I always get bored and then I decide I just don't like them anymore. Man I'm so darn fickle.

..

Beautiful

Like a plain girl

With good brains

and nice ways

A day I never want to forget

Yesterday was a great day. Sometimes I get really emotional,sometimes it's when I'm super sad and then other times it's when I'm uberly happy, and yesterday was the latter. Me and some of my closest friends went to go see a John Mayer concert and it was literally one of the best days of my life

I always get excited when I know that I'm going to see something that is possibly life changing, and yesterday was no exception. I had butterflies all day and I couldn't believe I was seeing one of my favorite artist in concert. It didn't hit me that I was seeing him until the minute he walked out on stage. The first song he sang was the first track off of his new album Battle Studies called Heartbreak Warfare, the minute I heard his guitar and saw his face I started crying.

Besides the fact that I think John Mayer is a beautiful man, he's absolutely gorgeous, he's also unbelievably talented and humble. Recently interviews have kind of put him in a bad light but no matter what you have to always give someone a chance, and I'm so happy that I didn't let those interviews hold me back from attending the concert. My favorite parts of the show was when he would stop singing and just jam with his band. They all would play their instruments and jazz out to the music to the point where you could tell they had a passion for it and couldn't be happy doing anything else.

Mayer played all of my favorite songs and when he sang, slow dancing in a burning room and Gravity, those were the times where I really broke down because I just couldn't believe it was really happening. This may sound like crazy fan talk but I just kept saying to my friends I can't believe we're in the same room as John Mayer right now. You get so used to seeing people on TV and in magazine that you forget they're human just like you, they eat, drink and sleep just like you. You forget that after they get off stage and go into their hotel rooms there no different than you. After the John Mayer concert I felt inspired and excited about all the places I was going. This may sound dumb but I left the concert with this new sense of hope knowing that one day I'm gonna be thanking fans for coming to see me perform in shows.

One thing that John Mayer said that really stuck with me was how he's learned that for his fans, when they buy tickets for his concerts, they're more than just tickets. But instead he referred to them as a Ace in the hole or a Ace in your back pocket. Whenever your having a bad day or something is going wrong you remember that ticket you have for that concert and you feel better. John Mayer was the Ace in my back pocket for four whole months and every time I got upset I thought about it and knew that for one night I would be happy, and I was.

"8 out of 8 band members agree, Philly is always an awesome show. XO J"

hmm

Yesterday I went to a John Mayer concert and tonight I plan to blog about it, but right now I have to study.

The flaming lips

Do you realize that everyone you know, one day will die.

Au Revoir Simone

"Everywhere is somewhere baby, so can't you see where in the middle somewhere. Nowhere just means knowing nothing, of where you've been or where your going, feel farther. You're a sight to see this early morning, getting lost in my own, neighborhood. The same freedom you feel, is whats been blowing in my sail, since I arrived here. Saying yes instead of no, and wondering what to make, of my directions. Won't be long that's just to gaze, and days will fall to dreams, something familiar."

Happy Belated singles awareness day

I can't keep picking up the pieces. Seriously...I can't. You keep breaking and pretty soon you'll shatter.

My Parents are amazing

There is this song by Gavin Degraw and it's entitled "I have you to thank" and it's about a guy pretty much thanking his girlfriend for treating him so good and making his standards as far as relationships go so high. But when I hear that song I don't think of a relationship or a guy at all but instead I think of my parents. for the last 20 years I've watched my parents relationship and every year that they have together and every anniversary that passes I just get more and more proud of them and my standards get higher.

I'm not saying that my parents relationship is perfect by any means but it's definitely taught me a lot, more than any relationship or guy could ever teach me. My dad has taught me that it's really not corny to randomly bring your wife flowers every now and then and beautiful hallmark cards. My mom has taught me that your not a Step ford wife if you make your husband a plate for dinner and wrap it up for him if he's not home by dinner time. My mom has taught me that sometimes you have to put yourself aside when the well being of your children is at hand, and that when it comes to your family you have to be selfless.

My father has taught me that sometimes you have to risk not seeing your family all the time so that you can work hard and support them. My parents have showed me what a God fearing couple looks like and how a husband should treat his wife and also how a wife should treat her husband. I've watched so many people in relationships and watched them make the same mistakes that there parents made, that led their parents to getting divorces and I'm happy that I don't have a violent cycle to pass on.

My parents never hit each other and were never verbally or emotionally abusive at all, and I really can't thank them enough. If it weren't for the relationship that my parents have I wouldn't know what to do when it comes to the opposite sex. Watching them I've learned more than I ever could of imagined and I couldn't be more appreciative of all the lessons they've taught me. So for any guy at there that hopes to win my heart, don't be mad at me for the high standards I've set for myself, you have my parents to thank for that.

I wonder if I ever cross your mind

I don't like feeling as if I don't have any choices, as if someone has made a decision for me that I wanted to make for myself. By doing something as blatantly disrespectful and hurtful as the thing that he did yesterday a decision was made that I don't think I could ever go back on. I wanna say that my feelings aren't hurt because of it, but I'm sure they are I'm just not letting myself feel it yet. I hate the fact that I can't change what happened. I hate the fact that I let myself think and daydream to the point where I could actually see myself with this person.

I think the part that will, eventually when I began to examine my feelings, hurt the most, is the fact that I could of seen myself letting down walls to love him. I saw us being happy together. Now all I see is us being friends, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but not the greatest thing either. I have such an easy time forgiving people for the things that they do to me, but I have a very hard time forgetting, and that's what is going to keep us at the friend level. I forgive him already for it but I won't ever forget it, I won't forget how I can watch him literally change before my eyes after one drink.

His whole persona is different, his focus changes and I hate it. So I guess as much as I don't like people making decisions for me, it's good that he made this one for me. Because I don't know if I would of been able to walk away from it all had he not of done what he did. I hope he enjoyed his night of pleasure, I honestly do, because now he's set me free to live a life with someone else. I don't know who yet. But in my heart I know that I was hoping it would be him. I asked peoples advice acting and lying to myself like I didn't know what or who I wanted, but in the end it always would of been him. No matter what the pros and cons added up to, I would of chosen him.

In your atmosphere

Wherever I go, whatever I do

I wonder where I am in my relationship to you

Wherever you go, wherever you are

I watch your life play out in pictures from afar

Scientific and Health Literacy

Types of Tissues:

Connective tissue, muscular tissue, epithelia, nervous tissue

Organ Systems:

integumentary, respiratory, nervous, digestive,

endocrin, lymphatic, immune, urinary, reproductive

skeletal, muscular, cardiovascular

Types of cells:

Eukaryotic and prokaryotic

I hate studying for biology tests.......wish me luck!!!

Oh wait I forgot I don't need luck I'm blessed =p

"There's a little truth behind every just kidding, a little curiosity behind every just wondering, a little knowledge behind every I don't know and a little emotion behind every I don't care"

words

"say what you mean because hearts are often broken by words left unspoken"

I used to love this quote, I thought it was so true and that everyone should live by it. Then my life started to get confusing, people started saying things to me that I was not and still not ready to hear. I've found that hearts are often broken by words spoken too soon. I've never thought I was the cause of someones feelings getting hurt and potentially their hearts being broken until people started telling me things I just couldn't handle. Now it's happening again and I'm not sure what to do. I don't want to break a heart or hurt any feelings so please hold your words until my ears and my heart are ready to hear them.

great band

So I've always had favorite bands, and they've always been secular. I could never find a Christian band that really caught my attention with more than two of their songs, but I'm really excited to say that I finally have. There is this band called needtobreathe and they're quite possibly one of the best bands I've ever had the pleasure of listening to. They're like Kings of Leon in the way that the lead singers voice is very rich and raspy, they're like Mayday parade in the way that a lot of their songs really speak to me but just on a spiritual level. I feel like I've honestly grown spiritually just by listening to their music and I'm really happy that my sweet little brother told me about them. I won't tell him they're my favorite band now because he'll just say I'm trying to be like him. Little does he know that I've already tried to be like him and I was no where near as cool. Have a good night everyone.

Miracles happen

A second ago I was about to post a blog just saying "I just don't know what to do anymore." Then I remembered the scripture

"seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things will be added unto you."

I forgot what I was supposed to be seeking hence why I was lost. It's time to get back on track I'll never be happy or know what I want in life unless I spend my time seeking him and only him. I love you so much Jesus, thank you for always giving me a hint of where I need to be whenever I feel lost.

a feeling

Sometimes I wonder if anyone in this world knows what it's like to just now know what you want. I think that sometimes you can honestly see yourself going down so many different roads and the possibilities are endless to the point where I'm never sure which way I want to go. And it's not like as far as my religion or career in life because I already know what I want as far as those aspects are concerned, but it's just other things that I can never decide on. I think it's pointless to give examples of what I think about because it's not really that important to anyone but me. It's just that sometimes like today my mind ponders amazing things and I can never choose one amazing thing to make me happy, and unfortunately in this situation it's impossible to have your cake and eat it too.

Urban dictionary

So last night while in The Crestiad office I looked my name up on Urbandictionary.com , the following are the results.

A Nicole is someone who is omnipotent. A Nicole is gorgeous, intelligent, mysterious, witty, hilarious, out-going, creative and seductive, yet she is also tough, street-smart, experienced, brave, enduring, and mainly a wonderful mother. Nothing and nobody can compare to a Nicole in any aspect. Mess with a Nicole, or her family, and you will regret ever being born.

Quite hilarious and I will admit that my day was officially made after reading this =]

My Mom

So my mother is this really great woman that I was mean to for a long time. When I went through those awkward crazy teenage years she definitely got the worst end of it...all the time. I think me and my mom are a lot alike in many ways and that may very well be why we don't always get along. Were both very opinionated and very blunt, we speak our minds all the time and don't really care who likes it. But we both also have good hearts and would give the shoes off of our feet to a person in need. I love my mom more than she knows and I hope she knows that though I don't spend a lot of time with her I get pleasure out of just being in the same house as her. I look up to my mom because she one of the most selfless women that I've ever met. She quit her job to homeschool me and my siblings so that we wouldn't have to go to a bad school. Not many mothers would do that for their children, I know that my mom goes without sometimes so that me and the rest of the kids can have things that we want. I don't show it often enough but I really appreciate both of my parents and everything they've ever done for me. I'm tearing up now just thinking about how much I love them, they honestly mean the world to me. Anyways it's late and I just needed to blog, about how much I love my mom because she's seriously amazing.

Blog over and out =]