Asian Invasion

Tomorrow I leave The Philippines and head to Mexico and I can't believe that it went by so fast. I made it. I mean I knew that I would but to actually be on the other side of these five weeks is just unreal.

So many ups and downs, so many trial and tribulations, so many adventures. I live a life full of adventures and tribulations and it's quite the life.

Being able to go visit an indigenous tribe in Puerta Princesa and going to the underground river again was just incredible. My experience last year in the Philippines was great but I was so caught up in my culture shock that I didn't enjoy it as much as I should have. This year I was really able to just focus on the experience and I feel as if I got so much more out of it this time.

I grew a lot as a person these last five weeks, I'm not exactly sure how I changed as a whole but things feel different something about me is different.

One day on our community service we went to this site where we spent the day with these really awesome kids at this school named Talaudyong. While we were at the school the kids took us to this gorgeous beach and wanted us to swim with them but the majority of us didn't have swimsuits. We ended up just swimming in our clothes and it was one of the most simple and surreal experiences for me.

I was always the person that like didn't want to get her hair wet and never would have jumped in a pool with my clothes on. But there I was, fully dressed, in the ocean, playing with these kids and not focusing on anything but the feel of the water on my skin and the twinkle in their eyes.

Life here has changed me, so many things I guess have changed me, but life in UWP really has a way of causing almost immediate change. The rain smells different, dirt isn't as gross, sleeping on the floor in a room with 100 other people is a welcomed bonding time.....life is just different here.

Be around people who bring out the most in you....work for a company that demands the most from you...always push yourself to be the most. Life here has changed me and is pushing me to pull the most out of everything, especially myself. I'm almost always out of my comfort zone and that's such a wonderful feeling to me, to always feel like I'm pushing myself. The most, that's what I want to get out of everything...the absolute most.

Just sand....

I think that life, ughh life, sometimes can be so surprising and can throw you for such loops. It's beautiful and unreal and such an adventure, I think it's the biggest adventure that anyone could ever go on. At the moment I think that I'm internalizing so many feelings and that will either end up being a big mistake or a great thing, but despite that I'm able to see how blessed I am.

I have friends that I can go to when life is throwing me a loop hole and that's a beautiful thing. But freaking balls, it scares me that life moves so fast sometimes. I don't know if it's a selfish thing or just human nature that I get so caught up in my own life that I forget that things at home and the lives of my friends keep moving.

Yep, they definitely keep moving and I wish that I could be more present for them and that I could be a better friend when I'm so far away. But that's just the reality of it all and I'm sad and my heart is broken and I wish I could be more available but I can't. I'm trying to be present but that's really hard to do when some of the most important people in my life aren't here.

So new task.....be present in my Up With People life as well as my life at home...is that possible? I'm not really sure yet. Damn it. Isn't there a genie that I can ask for some wishes, I just want a solution is all I think.

Time to really figure this out. Life is great and that's all that matter, everything else is just sand.

Step one....

Step one. Look at your surroundings, take it all in.

Step two. Breathe in deeply. Inhale the space and all that it means.

Step three. Stop thinking and start living.

Somehow, when I stopped thinking and just started living my life ended up going full circle. I read a quotation the other day and it said, "Our lives went full circle backwards." I read that and I could totally relate to it, I'm currently in Puerta Princes, Philippines sitting in a coffee shop. Last year, I was in Puerta Princesa and at that time in my life I never, in my wildest dreams thought that I would be here again.

It's crazy how as soon as I stopped thinking about it, stopped focusing on the thing that stressed me out the most, I ended up living my dreams. I'm here and it's real and I'm happy and that's so important to me. Yes, I get homesick and I get sad and I miss things at home, but I'm very happy.

The culture shock, the new job, the new friends that I'm meeting everyday, I'm so happy. I think that the coolest part is that I'm happy but no matter what I'm not content nor am I satisfied with it. This is wonderful but it can get better and wowza am I looking forward to when it does.

I'm amazed with the way that life works, literally amazed with it. I think the beauty of my relationship with God and the way that I view him is the fact that there are so many things that I don't understand about life and the world and that's okay with me. I don't get how I'm here right now, and how I've been able to accomplish and experience so many things, I don't get it and that's alright. God has worked so many things out for me and I always end up looking back and being surprised by how things just fall together.

Step three is the one that I have the hardest time with, but it's the one that is the most rewarding for me. When I just stop and relax everything just falls into the right place, when I'm living in the present and giving my all to God and allowing myself to experience life, the future just resolves itself and that's awesome.

I'm just really happy and I'm excited for where my life is going to go in the future. The other day I met this person and they said to me, "I don't know you that well, but I know that one day you're going to be a big deal. You're going to be really successful at whatever you choose to do." That just meant so much to me and I'm always taken back when people believe in me as much as I believe in myself, it's so encouraging.

Future I'm so ready for you, but until you get here I'm going to enjoy the present.