Frightened Rabbit

I'm working on my faults and cracks..filling in the blanks and gaps..And when I write them out they don't make sense..I need you to pencil in the rest.

Definition of my life

I love sleep.
My life has a tendency to fall apart when I'm awake,
You know?

To live is the rarest thing at all....most people exist, that is all.

"Maybe, just maybe, if he knew I love him he would love me back. But weren't my actions enough to make him feel the things I cannot say or he just really didn't care."

"I collect the words you say to me and wear them on a string around my neck, close to the pulse in my throat, the thump of my heart."

Mark

What manner of man is this, that even the wind and the seas obey him.

Honestly...

"Throughout my life I've always been afraid to lose the people I love. But then, sometimes I wonder, is there anyone out there afraid to lose me?"

I don't need you to know what you want...I just need you to know if you want me to be apart of it.

Best Frienddd

"its trueee....we are just too cute!! loveyousooomuchbestfrienddd♥ best friends dont need spaces to make words because they are always connected lol"

I love Nat Shuteee <3

Layers.layers.layers.layers.layers.layers.layers.
I'm wearing so many layers of clothing today it makes me feel safe. People say that when you wear a lot of baggy or frumpy clothes that it means you have no confidence.....but I disagree. I'm wearing a cami, tank top, thermal, sweater, scarf,hat, leggings and my brown shoes from target and I feel so confident.

I'm covered up and I feel safe, secure and unbelievably confident. There's something about today that I just love. I'm going home in a little bit, my parents are on there way and they get to see me looking like a bag lady. I'm very excited about this. I would fit in with the Olsen twins today. No lie.

XOXO Nik. <3

Three cheers for five years

"I thought with a month of apart, together would find us an opening and moonlight would provide the spark and that I would stumble across the key..... Or beak down the door to your heart."

Love: From a child's perspective

"What is love"

"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth."
Brian, Age 4

"Love is what is in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."
Bobby, Age 7

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt and he wears it everyday."
Noelle, age 7

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well."
Tommy, Age 6

OTH

People are going to disappoint you, I get that. But what if you wake up one day and realize that you're the disappointment?

Back in focus

I'm zooming in on me trying to make you a blur
You're forgettable
At least that's what I told you when I left
You're my past
Even though I thought you'd be my future
I'm a woman scorned
I'll admit I'm bitter
I showed you all of my scars
I explained to you every wound
But instead of doing your best to be gentle
You added to my already full collection
"I'm a man among boys." you told me
All your lines won my heart
I melted like butter from the fire that you lit in me
Now I'm burned
Charred beyond recognition
Thanks for the memories
Though they haunt my every dream
I'm incomplete
You were the puzzle that made me whole
And I'm a liar
How could you ever believe that you're unforgettable to me
You were my everything
And now I'm left with nothing
I wanna go back to the life we had
I wanna go back to being a blur
and continue living the life in which...
You were my focus.

Moonlitsailor

"I like to think that somewhere out there, on a planet exactly like ours, two people exactly like you and me made totally different choices and that, somewhere, we're still together."

Heart

Natalie was right. ;p

"You're what you love..not what loves you back."

I think that you can learn a lot about a person by just examining the things that they love.If someone were to take the time and try to get to know me, they wouldn't need to talk to me. I wouldn't have to answer any questions what so ever if they would just take time and look at all the things that I love.

That would tell them more than I would ever be able to say. If you want to get to know me read my blog, or my inspiration book, or my memory book. Look at my desk and read all of the quotes and sayings that mean so much to me. Look at my collages and observe all of the things that I hold so close to my heart.

If you want to get to know me...If you're trying to learn how to love me...then all you have to do is get to know the things that I love.

xoxox Nik

Split Screen sadness

"One hand on the trigger of a telephone, wondering when the call comes, where you say it's alright, you got your heart right.

Maybe I'll sleep inside my coat and wait on the porch til you come back home, Oh, right, I can't find a flight.

Two wrongs make it all alright.

All you need is love is a lie, we had love but we still said goodbye, now we're tired fighters.

And it stings when it's nobody's fault, cause there's nothing to blame at the drop of your name, It's only the air you took and the breath you left.

So I'll check the weather wherever you are, cause I wanna know if you can see the stars tonight, it might be my only right.

I called, because, I just, Need to feel you on the line, don't hang up this time, And I know it was me that called it over but I still wish you'd fight me till your dying day, don't let me get away.

Cause I can't wait to figure out what's wrong with me, So that I can say that this is the way that I used to be, There's no substitute for time, or for the sadness.

"So I'll watch you live in pictures like I used to watch you sleep...and I feel you forgetting me like I used to feel you breathe."

I'm in such a sour mood tonight.

Out of all the lies. "I love you" was my favorite.

Ellen

It feels good to talk it out. I'm happy that we're ok..and even though it's not 100% yet...we're still ok. =]

Irony

I hate feeling like the life that I've grown to love and find comfort in is slipping through my fingers. I hate the way that so many things have changed in such a short amount of time.

I'm really sick of this story and the way that it somehow seems to keep playing in my life. The way that eventually they all seem to walk down a path that's completely separate from where I'm walking. A path that takes them completely out of my life.

I hate how the irony of the whole situation is taunting me. I hate the word hate and the way that it's the only word that really describes the way that I'm feeling right now. I hate this.

I hate how the the feeling of deja vu is so prevalent in my life right now. I hate how she can be friends with everyone but me and I especially hate how you said we'd never be like that but yet here we are. Your lies are exhausting. Maybe they weren't exactly lies..but instead nice promises you couldn't keep.

I hope you read this and see how much everything is changed. If your seriously looking at our friendship feeling like everything is fine, then you're blind.

I don't hate you and I never will but I can't help but remember when you said that you'd never be like my grandfather. You said that unlike him, you'd always be around. We'd be best friends forever. I'm starting to see the flaws in those words.

I'm starting to see the cracks in our friendship. I don't know what I could possibly do to fix it, I don't feel like I'm the reason it's gotten so bad, but maybe I am. I don't know what you want from me.

I just hate how everything has changed and how we're not the way we used to be. I miss all of the things we used to do together before....before everything had to be over analyzed and approval was needed.

I hate this feeling. I hate how I feel right now. I hate pain. I hate the extra wall that's building up around my heart now that something else I trusted has fallen through. I hate how scared I am that this is going to happen with all of my friendships.

I hate how everyday I wake up and ask myself, what's wrong with me. I just don't know anymore....the irony is staring me in the face and I feel like I'm losing.

My current situation

"Your task is not to seek love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it."

This quotations literally epitomizes where I am in life currently. I'm currently trying to find all the things in my life that have made me so against love and instead of looking for a relationship, I'm trying to fix myself.

Lately I've been able to talk to one of my really good friends about my life and situation and she's helped me so much. She helped me to think of things in way that I hadn't before and look at the different situations in different ways.

I'm not perfect and I'm only at the beginning of the road but this time I feel like it's really going to be different. I'm already feeling like there is a change in my behavior and i'm awfully proud of myself.

A three dog life

"I feel like a tent that wants to be a kite...tugging at my stakes."

R. Rogin

RIP-2007

Truth

"No matter where we go, we always see the same sky."

Family

I was thinking about premarital sex the other day (random topic i know) and I was just sitting there in the car thinking about all the reasons why I want to wait till I'm married to have sex. Ever since I was at least ten I've known that I wanted to wait until I was married to have sex. It's just always been something that I've wanted to do but today a new reason presented itself to me.

When you have sex outside of marriage you open yourself up to the possibility of getting pregnant. If you're like me and you dont believe in abortion that means that you're going to end up with a child. Since 9 times out of 10 when you get pregnant young you don't marry your childs father that means you're going to have kids that have different parents.

I'm one of seven and my siblings and I all have the same mother and father. My parents never had any kind of baby mama drama and I never had to worry about my brothers or sister being away for weekends visiing their other families.

I never want to ever do that to my children, I want all of my children to have the same father. I grew up in a household where I knew that my parents not only loved me but they also loved each other, and I want that for my children.

I want the person that I have children with to be the person that I spend the rest of my life with and the person I lose my virginity to. So pretty much one of the newest reasons for why I'm still a virgin is because I want it all and I plan to have it all.

I'm gonna show you how great I am

I dare to be great..
I dare to be powerful beyond measure..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G5NBYu6iyvA&feature=player_embedded

Welll

I don't care about your past...
All I want to know is if there's a place for me in your future.