I don't even know

The last few days have just been so hectic
I've had so much stuff to do and I had a test today and another tomorrow evening
And I'm happy that I haven't gotten stressed yet
I'm just trying to manage my time wisely
So that I don't end up being bombarded with homework
It mostly started when I was rudely woken up from my slumber
And that's like the main thing a person can do to get me in a bad mood
But now I'm over it and I'm trying not to be a negative Nancy
It was hard looking my friend in the face today
It was hard laughing and smiling with her
Knowing that I'm keeping something from her that would make her upset
I know that it's stupid because it's not that big of a deal
But I know that she would still be so pissed
Because she told me to leave him alone
And since I'm not a fan of being told what to do
I didn't leave him alone
Soooo now I have to keep it from her
and that sucks...but I'm sure I'll tell her eventually
Then I told Leah how upset I was about what Kai said
And of course she told him and he got upset and apologized
I'm not sure how sincere it was
Because he has my number and could of called me myself
But hey like I said can't expect things from people
Expectations are pretty much my favorite thing
But being disappointed isn't
and it's funny because they both work hand in hand
I'm so flawed and confused about the things that i want in life
But I'm on my way to being better at this
I'm trying to be better
I'm on my way to being smarter
Ooohhhh how I wish that my life was easier
But I'm sure I wouldn't enjoy it half as much
{my fingertips are holding on to the cracks in our foundation}