Ok so this whole not being scared to live life...is so hard! Seriously I know that eventually once I get used to pushing past the initial fear and just doing what I want..it should get easier but right now it's so hard. I think it's the uncertainty of putting yourself out there that scares me so much.
It's like ok here I'll put my heart and soul out here for you to maybe feel the same way as me but you probably won't but hey let's see what happens......ugghhh that's horrifying. I seriously don't want to be the girl that keeps thinking about the one person that I thought about every single day but never went after. I'm scared of how people will react to the different ways this situation could turn out.
I'm scared of what it could do to our friendship and out group of friends..I'm scared that he won't feel the same way. But my biggest fear is that this is another one of my phases. See I used to do these things where I liked a guy just because I thought he was out of my reach and as soon as he liked me back I no longer liked him anymore...I was only after the chase. Well I can't do this with this guy that isn't even an option for this situation.
So what if I tell him how I think I might feel and then if he reciprocates I just decide that i never really liked him in the first place. I feel like the dumbest person in the world with all these what ifs, and for those that don't know me you probably think I over think every single situation but I promise you I don't. It's just those darn matters of the heart...they make me think way to much.
Happy Turkey day!
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