Music floods my brain

Right now I'm sitting in my friends dorm room listening to John Mayer and I just became ridiculously grateful for all of the friends that I have in my life. Last night I got to spend time with my friends from a different college and usually it's me and Lindsey but since Linds is in D.C I went by myself.

I didn't have a problem with going by myself but the thing is that all of my friends there are guys and people always get the wrong idea when I say that I'm going to hang out with all of my guy friends. But they're honestly some of the nicest, considerate and protective boys that I've had the pleasure of getting to know.

I haven't know them that long and they are so easy to talk to and whenever I need something they're always there for me. But I used to always think that they liked Lindsey a lot more than they liked me and last night just sealed the deal for me that they like us both equally. I didn't feel uncomfortable at all and I got to spend time with each person and got to wrestle Dave which was hilarious but I just really had such a good time.

I'm going to miss them so much over this Thanksgiving break and I don't even want to think about Christmas break because I don't want to think about going that long without seeing them. They honestly make me and Lindsey so happy I love them to death. It's weird because I've never had real male friends all of my guy friends from home are either dating one of my friends or have tried or are trying to get with me in some way. Like Joey kept saying stuff to me last time I went home and it was weird cause he like turned me down when I liked him saying we were just friends to people and now he's making all these advances at me and I don't like it.

The only thing I need in my life right now are some real friends and I'm just really thankful that God has placed so many great people in my life because I would honestly be lost here without them. Every time I found out that I'm hanging out with them I look forward to it all week and like count down the days, just like I do when I know I'm hanging out with my best friends at home.

I'm so afraid to ruin the friendship that I've built with all of them that I would never ever entertain the thoughts that sometime come in to my mind just because of the fact that if anything happened and they stopped talking to me for some reason I would be absolutely devastated. No lie I would probably cry my eyes out, we're getting to the point where we actually have deep conversations about things and I'm scared that this is all to good to be true.