A weird answer to a simple question
Lost thoughts found on a page but forgotten in reality
It's crazy how easy it is to go from being ok
to being not so ok
Words play games with your mind
They slip there way into your ears
and swing on the thoughts that your mind processes
The numbers that configure themselves together
to make a number that reaches you
I can't seem to wrap my mind around the fact
That right now there is no one to think about
or miss and long for
My heart yearns for no one
I have no crush
no love interest
no one to call me beautiful
and now I'm lost thinking
what now?
So I immerse myself completely in my studies
We must get good grades and make the deans list
We must use our time wisely
and become something that will make
our parents proud
I've forgotten about all the lost loves
and I cut all ties I had to them
My heart is sincerely whole
and is it wrong that I wish it wasn't
That if only I had some memories
A few shards of my heart
A few wounds
Then maybe I would feel like there was something
It's hard to explain how I feel because
I don't feel empty
Or feel like something is missing from my life
I honestly don't need anyone in that way
right now
But for some reason
some way,shape or form
I want something
Well not exactly want ..more like
I miss something
I lay down and the covers go over my head and
I miss something
My head gently lands on the pillow , my eyes close and
I miss something
Who knows exactly what it is that my body misses
Lust is a strong feeling
It can ruin a life and rattle a family
But in this case it just keeps me missing
Missing a touch and a kiss
Not the person or personality that goes with it
Just the feelings that I get
when I get it
Admitting the truth makes it all real
I've become a wonder to myself
in the way that I'm finally being honest
Maybe not in every aspect of my life
But I'm definitely finally being honest with myself
It angers me to think that some people read this
Search through the words
seeking an explanation for me
For why I say or do certain things
Instead of just coming to me and asking me
Well this is me being honest
Ask me!!!
This blog is for my enjoyment
This is for me to feel safe and open
I come here to speak
To write and to let my voice be heard
A voice that though it is loud
Is very often spoken over
I long for the days where my knowledge is acknowledged
Until then I sit back
Being honest with myself
and trying to bury the lust that leaves me longing
For feelings but not emotions
I will admit I'm a bit messed up
I'm battered and bruised
with many unseen scars
But I'm definitely not broken
Still I rise to the destiny that is before me
I ask that God prepares me for the days to come
I ask that he hold me in his arms and rocks me to sleep
I ask that God be my refuge
My shield
and my strength
For God I live
and for God I die
I prayed today asking for a good day
I asked to be watched over and kept
Thank you God for answering my prayers.
Lost thoughts found on a page but forgotten in reality
It's crazy how easy it is to go from being ok
to being not so ok
Words play games with your mind
They slip there way into your ears
and swing on the thoughts that your mind processes
The numbers that configure themselves together
to make a number that reaches you
I can't seem to wrap my mind around the fact
That right now there is no one to think about
or miss and long for
My heart yearns for no one
I have no crush
no love interest
no one to call me beautiful
and now I'm lost thinking
what now?
So I immerse myself completely in my studies
We must get good grades and make the deans list
We must use our time wisely
and become something that will make
our parents proud
I've forgotten about all the lost loves
and I cut all ties I had to them
My heart is sincerely whole
and is it wrong that I wish it wasn't
That if only I had some memories
A few shards of my heart
A few wounds
Then maybe I would feel like there was something
It's hard to explain how I feel because
I don't feel empty
Or feel like something is missing from my life
I honestly don't need anyone in that way
right now
But for some reason
some way,shape or form
I want something
Well not exactly want ..more like
I miss something
I lay down and the covers go over my head and
I miss something
My head gently lands on the pillow , my eyes close and
I miss something
Who knows exactly what it is that my body misses
Lust is a strong feeling
It can ruin a life and rattle a family
But in this case it just keeps me missing
Missing a touch and a kiss
Not the person or personality that goes with it
Just the feelings that I get
when I get it
Admitting the truth makes it all real
I've become a wonder to myself
in the way that I'm finally being honest
Maybe not in every aspect of my life
But I'm definitely finally being honest with myself
It angers me to think that some people read this
Search through the words
seeking an explanation for me
For why I say or do certain things
Instead of just coming to me and asking me
Well this is me being honest
Ask me!!!
This blog is for my enjoyment
This is for me to feel safe and open
I come here to speak
To write and to let my voice be heard
A voice that though it is loud
Is very often spoken over
I long for the days where my knowledge is acknowledged
Until then I sit back
Being honest with myself
and trying to bury the lust that leaves me longing
For feelings but not emotions
I will admit I'm a bit messed up
I'm battered and bruised
with many unseen scars
But I'm definitely not broken
Still I rise to the destiny that is before me
I ask that God prepares me for the days to come
I ask that he hold me in his arms and rocks me to sleep
I ask that God be my refuge
My shield
and my strength
For God I live
and for God I die
I prayed today asking for a good day
I asked to be watched over and kept
Thank you God for answering my prayers.
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