Irony

I hate feeling like the life that I've grown to love and find comfort in is slipping through my fingers. I hate the way that so many things have changed in such a short amount of time.

I'm really sick of this story and the way that it somehow seems to keep playing in my life. The way that eventually they all seem to walk down a path that's completely separate from where I'm walking. A path that takes them completely out of my life.

I hate how the irony of the whole situation is taunting me. I hate the word hate and the way that it's the only word that really describes the way that I'm feeling right now. I hate this.

I hate how the the feeling of deja vu is so prevalent in my life right now. I hate how she can be friends with everyone but me and I especially hate how you said we'd never be like that but yet here we are. Your lies are exhausting. Maybe they weren't exactly lies..but instead nice promises you couldn't keep.

I hope you read this and see how much everything is changed. If your seriously looking at our friendship feeling like everything is fine, then you're blind.

I don't hate you and I never will but I can't help but remember when you said that you'd never be like my grandfather. You said that unlike him, you'd always be around. We'd be best friends forever. I'm starting to see the flaws in those words.

I'm starting to see the cracks in our friendship. I don't know what I could possibly do to fix it, I don't feel like I'm the reason it's gotten so bad, but maybe I am. I don't know what you want from me.

I just hate how everything has changed and how we're not the way we used to be. I miss all of the things we used to do together before....before everything had to be over analyzed and approval was needed.

I hate this feeling. I hate how I feel right now. I hate pain. I hate the extra wall that's building up around my heart now that something else I trusted has fallen through. I hate how scared I am that this is going to happen with all of my friendships.

I hate how everyday I wake up and ask myself, what's wrong with me. I just don't know anymore....the irony is staring me in the face and I feel like I'm losing.