Loving you

So I have this problem with letting go and saying goodbye. I hate saying bye to people because who knows when I'll ever see them again it makes me sad and usually I get really upset. My friends and family are honestly my life and what sucks is that I know my future is going to take me places that doesn't allow me to see them every day.

I just got done talking to my friend Ido that lives in Isreal, I met him over the summer and got to hang out with him for four days and I never forgot him. He is one of the most genuine people that I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. He was so amazed by the little things to me like Walmart and Target and places like that. He would talk about how skittles are the most delicious things he'd ever tasted and it always made me laugh.

It's funny how you can spend a few days with someone and they can affect your life in such a big way. I always thought that I would never see Ido again and now there's this chance that I'll see him this summer, he told me the good news and then he had to get off the internet, and it was so weird. I got this huge sense of happiness and then it was automatically followed by so much sadness that I just started crying. When people leave I'm like a child in a way that it always feel permanent.

I'm insecure in the way that when people genuinely care for me I try to keep them close to me because I don't know when someone else will ever care for me the way they do. I'm not sure if it's a bad thing or not that I hold these people so close to me. I guess in every case, an excessive amount of something is just not healthy for anyone, is it crazy that I wish I could overdose on the presence of my family and friends everyday.