Better to have loved and lost

So today my best friend ruined everything for me by telling me that he was in love with me. The problem with that is that when we first met each other about two years ago I really liked him a lot and he did some awful things that made me stop liking him because he hurt me to bad. He flaunted his girlfriend in front of me and went as far as to bring her to my church and introduce me to her and make a big deal out of it.

Fortunately for me I was able to get over it and move on and I decided that he just wasn't the person for me. Well after she broke up with him about a year and a half ago we decided that we were gonna try and see if there was anything between us and we established that there really wasn't. After that we stopped talking for a while and then just recently or the beginning of the school year rather we decided that we really wanted to be friends and I explained to him that the only way that I could do this was if we would be friends and only friends and that's it.

He promised me that we would be just friends and that he wouldn't say anything else about us being together. Well tonight he broke that promise and it just really sucks to know that I'm hurting him so bad because what I need from our relationship is for us to be great friends and for us to talk all the time and what he need us for us to be together.

I feel selfish though because for us to even talk I need to be able to talk to him about guys and things like that, but I don't want to keep hurting him by talking about other guys that I want to have in my life when he wants to be the main guy in my life. This is just a really crappy situation because he's saying that he's known for a while that I don't see him ever being my boyfriend and that this is his problem not mine but it's still hard because I don't like the fact that he's upset and the only thing he wants is something that I can't give him.

I'm just in a really horrible situation and I hope that it gets better and I hope me and him can continue to be good friends without having to be boyfriend and girlfriend. I never thought I would say this but I've always wanted to be loved by someone and it sucks that the person who loves me is two years too late and definitely not the right one for me.