Sometimes you can't write how you feel. Because words and songs and quotes will never be able to describe it. You just have to feel it and see what happens, wait for the feeling to outlive itself. I think that's what I'm trying to do. I don't know how I feel right now or today, or this entire week. I'm not sure how I feel about myself or the things that I've done, the way that I've been behaving......I'm just feeling and living waiting for some of it to start making sense.

I haven't let God be apart of my life lately and that plays a part in the way that things have been going for me. I need to get back to that asap so that I can be happy again. I don't think that I'm unhappy per say but I'm definitely not as happy as I could be....I'm not as happy as I wish to be.

So I think I'm going to start working on project Nicole happiness....and implement it into my life as soon as possible. Because I can't live like this....I won't