continued

Today I talked to one of my friends, a friend that I've known for as long as I can remember, but the person she is today is someone I really don't recognize. Last year she met this guy, and after giving him her first kiss, she's been sprung to no end, and has let him change her.

He was in a relationship when they kissed and when she found out, she was almost completely OK with it. "Sometimes good people do dumb things" she said, and after that I knew he had he wrapped around his finger.

When we were growing up this person would barely hug guys, and when she did she would be conscious of who she hugged, because she didn't wanna go around being all over guys. She was innocent and humble, always beautiful, but yet always humble. Now she's border line conceited and pretty much lets guys say whatever sexual innuendos they would like to say to her. I'm really sad, and disappointed, but yet I'm sad about who I am now as well.

I remember the time where I used to not even know how to kiss. The times where I would literally think so hard on where your lips are supposed to go. Now I'm a pro at it, and I don't know how proud I am of that. It upsets me to think that my friends may be disappointed in me, or think that I'm a different person. If my friends feel the way that i felt today when I was talking to my friend, then I don't want to change anymore. I'd rather just go back to the 19year old girl who had never kissed a boy, and couldn't figure out where your bottom lip goes.

I'm scared that I'm changing. Everybody is changing and I DON'T FEEL THE SAME.