I'm honest to a fault. I'll tell you exactly how I feel about a situation and sometimes it's crazy,but, my honestly hurts me. I hurt myself with my honesty. I say things sometimes and when I think about it and realize that's how I actually feel about a situation or thing, it hurts me to my heart.

I realize that relationships scare me to the point where I will do anything not to be in one. I'm so selfish. I don't think about the feelings of others and that makes me sad. I only think about how something is going to make me feel and not how it makes the other person feel.

Yeah, this guys like me and I don't really like him, but hey if he wants to take me out it's all good. In reality that's not all good because you're leading that person on. Kissing and spending time with someone that you don't plan on pursuing a relationship with is cruel. It's one of the worst things you can do to a person emotionally.

People get attached to people. It's just how life works. If someone gets to know you and they like who you are as a person, it's inevitable that they're going to fall for you. And it's heartless and cruel to lead them on and then just shut them down.

I try to stop talking to people before it gets to that point, but I think I'm so used to being hurt by people that when someone is genuinely interested in me and wants to treat me well, I don't believe them and I make sure I hurt them before they can hurt me. I've said this before but I'll just reiterate it, anything too real makes me so scared.

I'm terrified to really fall in love with someone because I'm scared that once I give that one guy my heart he's just going to leave me....leave me hurt and broken hearted like everyone else.

It's pathetic and I'm pathetic for making this a cycle of pain. The truest statement I've ever heard is, "Hurt people, hurt people." When people hurt you, it's hard to not push that hurt on others and that's what I do to guys that pursue me. I hurt them, it's like I'm trying to win some sick battle for the female race.

It's awful and I feel awful for the things I say to people and it makes me sad to think that these guys think that I didn't care about them at all and that I just used them. They think I'm a heartless bitch and I'm not. I swear I'm not. I'm just broken and terrified of being broken beyond repair.

Lord please heal me.