Just sand....

I think that life, ughh life, sometimes can be so surprising and can throw you for such loops. It's beautiful and unreal and such an adventure, I think it's the biggest adventure that anyone could ever go on. At the moment I think that I'm internalizing so many feelings and that will either end up being a big mistake or a great thing, but despite that I'm able to see how blessed I am.

I have friends that I can go to when life is throwing me a loop hole and that's a beautiful thing. But freaking balls, it scares me that life moves so fast sometimes. I don't know if it's a selfish thing or just human nature that I get so caught up in my own life that I forget that things at home and the lives of my friends keep moving.

Yep, they definitely keep moving and I wish that I could be more present for them and that I could be a better friend when I'm so far away. But that's just the reality of it all and I'm sad and my heart is broken and I wish I could be more available but I can't. I'm trying to be present but that's really hard to do when some of the most important people in my life aren't here.

So new task.....be present in my Up With People life as well as my life at home...is that possible? I'm not really sure yet. Damn it. Isn't there a genie that I can ask for some wishes, I just want a solution is all I think.

Time to really figure this out. Life is great and that's all that matter, everything else is just sand.