Oh, people.

"But what are you going to do after Up With People?"

The question I always seem to get, from family members, host families, friends from home....what after? 

I find it hard to answer that question sometimes, but then something happens and I'm reminded of what I burn for. What really sends me over the brim with passion. 

I love people. I think it's safe to say that I am uncontrollably and truly passionate about people. Helping people, caring for people, loving people....I was put on this earth to be there for people. But in that passion come the confusion of how exactly I can use my love for people to fuel and guide the rest of my life. 

So clearly God embedded this deep love for people in my life for a reason, so what is that reason? Yeah, I'm working on figuring that part out. The best part is, is that I don't feel lost, not at all...instead I feel as if I'm at the beginning of a road that's leading me to something really incredible. 

It's really hard to describe how I feel about my future right now, fulfilled, secure, loved...those words are just the tip of the iceberg to the emotions and thoughts that are surging through me. And it's the weirdest feeling because I have literally no idea what I'm going to do in the future or how it's all going to work out, but for some reason, one big reason, faith....I just know that it all will and I'm not worried at all. 

People say that life happens when you're busy making plans, I guess I'm lucky that I haven't gotten that far yet. 

Mason...

I want to say beautiful things

I want to hold his hand and tell him that he's going to change the world

I want to wipe his tears and tell him that all his fears are strong but he's stronger

I want to hug him when he frowns

And take pictures and frame them when he smiles

I want to be his best friends

And his biggest support system

I want to be the first woman he loves

And the one who's opinion means a lot to him

I want to flood him with compliments that build his self esteem and not his ego

I want to shower him with gifts that he's earned as well as deserves

my future son

I want to raise him to be the kind of man my father is

Humble, strong,courageous...

I want to push him to greatness

But let him know that if he ever fails at something I'll be there too

I want to raise him to respect woman and others but most importantly himself

I want to raise a son like my little brother

Adventurous, curious, outgoing

A soldier and a consoler

a shining light

A want to raise a son that people admire

One that inspires thousands

I want him to love God

and have unfaltering faith

as well as a mind and personality of his own

A brave boy, that fights for what he believes in

A man worth looking up to

my son.

America- The country it used to be.

An answer to the question, "What makes America the greatest country in the world?"

After saying repeatedly that America isn't the greatest country in the world and going on a rant, the speaker finished with this powerful monologue. About why America used to be the greatest country in the world.

"We sure used to be. We stood up for what was right! We fought for moral reasons, we passed and struck down laws for moral reasons. We waged war on poverty, not poor people. We sacrificed, we cared about our neighbors, we put our money where our mouths were, and we never beat our chest. We built great big things, made ungodly technological advances, explored the universe, cured diseases, and cultivated the world's greatest artists and the world's greatest economy. We reached for the stars, and we acted like men. We aspired to intelligence; we didn't belittle it; it didn't make us feel inferior. We didn't identify ourselves by who we voted for in the last election, and we didn't scare so easily. And we were able to be all these things and do all these things because we were informed. By great men, men who were revered. The first step to solving any problem, is recognizing that there is one. America is not the greatest country in the world anymore."

From the HBO show The Newsroom.

If I could, I'd live in a song.

I'd sleep in it's melody

and spend my days in it's chords

I'd rewrite it's verses and laugh when the bridge no longer made sense

I'd treat it like a pair of shoes and wear it in

Singing it over and over again until it fit just right

Then I'd perform it

And let myself flood through speakers and into the ears of audience members

I'd pick an artist and decide to let them trademark me

If I could, I'd live in a song

And damn it I'd be a hit

But only to a certain crowd

The ones who see beyond the words and feel the soul

If I were a song

I'd be the kind that just hits people

The kind that grabs the gasp from the back of their throats and pulls it out

I'd the kind that evoked the kind of tears

that one had to choke back

If I could, I'd be a song

Played over and over in minds of those it's meant for.

More than words

I would like to read a wonderful poem

written by a wonderful person

on of a course a wonderful and breathtakingly beautiful day

But I wouldn't like to write something like that

Instead I would like to write myself into a poem

Fill it to the edges with passion and tears

And when I think it's finished, layer it over with adventure and fear

Then after it's been read through twice and backwards

I'll cover the corners with tape laced in stability

Then breathe the life of faith into it's pages

And run my fingers covered in naive ink over it's words

I'd let my friends hold it, leaving their essence in the empty places

And then I'd fold it crooked and leave a kiss on it's bends

Drop it on the ground

trip over it 0f course

Then put it in a bottle and set it off to sea

But not before I whisper inside a little things about me.

So that the person who finds it

Is flooded with the things of I

And when they read my words are lost in what I can be

They'll be immersed with one touch in the parts that make me

And I and them

Never having met

Will share the moment that makes us

Even for just a moment

us.

In the face of adventure, I lower my brow and say "I'm not ready."

Preparation nods me in the back and says "yes your are."

My sentiments exactly

Read this and it pertained to me so well that I had to repost it. 

"And so it is that I’ve come to the conclusion that no one can complete you, and nor should anyone have to. Maybe we’re not meant to be complete, or maybe we already are. What do I know? Maybe completeness just stunts us from growing. Or if there is such a thing as completeness, then we should be able to use all sorts of different things to plug the holes inside us, and maybe we can learn to complete ourselves. What I’m saying is that for the first time, I want to fill in the Kat holes with Kat stuff, because when I think of someone else’s stuff in all my internal nooks and crannies, it starts to feel kind of invasive.

That’s not to say that I don’t want to love and be loved; just to say that it’s no longer a question of “You complete me.” What I need now, which is so different to what I needed ten, five, or even three years ago, is not filling, but a use for my fullness. I want someone that will push against the wall inside me where I’ve spent all my time repairing the spidery cracks spreading across the surface. And when the destructive veins behind to reemerge, I want someone who will stand beneath me, holding the ladder I’m climbing to reach the blemishes, handing me the tools I need to smooth out the puckering in the paint as I go.

I don’t want anyone to complete me anymore, regardless of whether I feel complete or not. All I want is to be a girl standing in front of a boy, eyes full of tears, professing my love, and with ultimate resolve say, “You extend me.”